I was raised to never use the word hate. Whenever I tried to say I hated someone my mother would correct me saying I disliked that person. There is a lot of cruelty behind that word. I haven’t hated anyone for a long time because it’s wasted energy. I’d much rather fuel my energy toward caring for people.
Unfortunately, a giant ball of hatred has accumulated inside me. As much as I wish I could stop its formation, it’s only worsening. If you asked around, people would say I’m an individual who doesn’t get angry easily. Nonetheless, if the right person gets under my skin it triggers a chain reaction that sets off a volcano of tempestuous emotion. Well, the chain reaction was triggered, and I’m about to erupt.
The worst part: I can’t stand confrontation and avoid it at all costs. I typically work through my issues with other people by calmly discussing them. This strategy doesn’t work when you’re dealing with immature, stubborn, pig-headed jerks. A jerk who refuses to care and whose goal is to make my life exceptionally difficult.
My patience is wearing thin and so are my options. If I could cut this person out of my life entirely I would, but being forced to see his face daily makes this impossible. My hope is that I have the strength to be the bigger person even though I really want to dish back the same snarky, sarcastic comments he recites under his breath.