I was raised to never use the word “hate.” Whenever I tried to say I hated someone my mother would correct me by saying that I simply disliked that person. I know all the power that lies behind the word “hate.” It’s a fervent word for expressing negative feeling. I haven’t felt hatred for a very long time because, in my opinion, hatred is wasted energy. I would much rather fuel my energy towards caring for the people in my life.
Unfortunately, a giant ball of hatred has been accumulating inside me. As much as I wish I could stop its formation, it’s only worsening. If you asked around people would say that I’m an individual who doesn’t become angry easily. Nonetheless, if the right person gets under my skin it triggers a chain reaction that sets off a volcano of tempestuous emotion. Well, my chain reaction has been triggered, and I am about to erupt!
The worst part about all of this is that I can’t stand confrontation and attempt to avoid it at all costs. I typically strive to work through my issues with other people by calmly discussing the problem at hand. This strategy is nearly impossible to implement, however, when you have to deal with an immature, stubborn, pigheaded individual. Someone who refuses to care and whose one goal seems to be to make my life exceptionally difficult.
My patience is wearing thin and so are my options. If I could just cut this person out of my life entirely I would, but being forced to see his face on a daily basis makes the “cutting out” part impossible. My hope is mustering enough strength to keep being the bigger person – even though most of the times I want to dish back the same snarky, sarcastic comments he recites to me under his breath.