Failing friendships

Why is it that the friends that I hold onto the hardest always end up being the biggest disappointments? It’s becoming clearer that choosing quality, long-lasting friends isn’t a talent of mine. I don’t understand why because the qualities I’m searching for aren’t complicated. Friendship is a basic concept when you think about it. To make a friendship function properly all that needs to happen is both parties showing they care enough to maintain the relationship. They each need to give a little to share in the benefits! How hard is that? Apparently it is because I’ve been playing the role of both parties in several of my past friendships.

Many of these so-called friends didn’t display an adequate amount of dedication from the start. They always possess the same characteristics: poor communication skills, lack of initiative when it comes to keeping in contact, always fun when you’re actually spending time together and a negative influence on morals. It shouldn’t be much of a shock when after I give up on the relationship they didn’t put up a fight. Heck, they didn’t even notice or seem to care. And why should they? They didn’t care during the friendship so why would they start to care when it’s over?

The hardest part has been letting go. I hang on because of the good times. I try to block out the adverse experiences and bad qualities so I can focus on the positive memories that were had. This is why I’ve held onto several toxic, worthless friendships for much longer than I should have. After experiencing more than a few failed friendships I’ve learned to spot the warning signs earlier. Then if there are enough red flags I’ll delete the potential friendship before it even has the chance to start disintegrating.

Everyone, including me, deserves top-notch people whether it’s their significant other or their friends. All people have expectations and all people search out characteristics they want. I have standards for who I’ll date and who I’ll be friends with. I want a friend who enjoys and wants to spend time with me – someone who will initiate hang-outs, text conversations and phone calls. I am tired of doing all the work in my friendships. I want someone who will exert effort because in their mind having me as a friend is worth that effort. They’ll make me laugh and be a loyal, intelligent, compassionate and honest person. I know there are people out there who want the same things I do in a friendship – The only problem is how do I find them?

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