Writing has always been my personal creative outlet for every experienced emotion, whether it’s sadness, anger, frustration, joy or envy. But I’ll admit that my favorite time to write is when I’m experiencing so much joy that the only way I can properly express and release it is through composition. So here I am – composing – releasing the endless amount of joy that is racing through my heart. Honestly, I haven’t been this happy in a long time. A nonstop smile has been plastered on my face for weeks and these small giggles keep resonating from my lips – I feel like a silly, little school-girl, but I can’t help it.
I know this feeling is a blessing – it just has to be – because before this, I won’t deny, I was struggling. I was constantly praying and crying out for guidance, change and a new source of loving support. I had my family and a few good friends, but there was still something missing. I needed someone else – someone who understood me in ways that others failed to grasp. Someone who would stand by me, commit to me and eventually fall in love with me. I think this is what everyone wants – whether they admit it to themselves or not. I don’t want to jinx myself, but I think (hopefully – fingers crossed) that I found that source. I feel like all my prayers have been answered because now I have an angel in my life.
In the beginning he wasn’t recognizable to me and I’m ashamed I was so hesitant for our story to start. However, after you’ve been on your own for a while you question and analyze your decisions before rushing into anything new, especially when it’s something you really want. This source is something I want – more than anything – and I will take every precaution I need to not ruin, trample or injury this new, vulnerable relationship. There have been so many signs over the past couple months that have revealed to me that this is going to be something different – something long-lasting and worthwhile. After all, how does that saying go? Ah yes.
“The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally comes.”