Don’t disregard the small stuff

cup-of-coffeeWhen you’re in a relationship there are different ways that you can tell your significant other loves you. It could be the way their eyes light up when you walk in a room. Or the passion they exert when they kiss you. Or the way they hold your hand as the two of you are walking through a store. There are moments when you can just tell how much you mean to them, but this reassurance doesn’t have to come from grandiose romantic acts. Although my relationship has encompassed plenty of moments when my boyfriend swept me off my feet, the times I really knew he loved me were through subtle acts of kindness.

Women tend to believe that men choose not to listen to them when they talk. They often complain that their men just don’t “get them” – or at least that’s how they behave in movies and TV shows. I just don’t think woman nowadays give men enough credit, because most of the time it’s the man who’s the romantic one because he doesn’t need to serenade his lady from beneath her windowsill to let her know she’s the one for him. Just by showing her he pays attention to what she needs is reassurance he loves her and wants to take care of her.

Compared to my boyfriend, I have a terrible memory (I think I’m getting old). There will be things that I mention just one time and then weeks later he’ll do something related to what I said that astonishes me. Let me provide an example. I’m a coffee drinker, and I require that extra jolt in the morning that allows me to start my day in the best way possible. When I started spending weekends at my boyfriend’s house, I had to go without that extra jolt because he doesn’t own a coffeemaker. At one point I tried to talk him into purchasing one, but he said it would be a waste of money. After that I dropped the topic.

Weeks later I spent the weekend with him, and when I woke up on Saturday morning he asked me “Hey baby, would you like some coffee?” I was still pretty groggy at this point, but I scolded him for tempting me with something I knew he didn’t have. He smiled and admitted he purchased some instant coffee that just needed hot water. I was blown away that he was remembered how much I loved a cup of coffee in the morning. Now when we eat breakfast together, we each enjoy a cup of french vanilla instant coffee.

This, of course, wasn’t the only small act of kindness he’s done in the five months we’ve been together but it’s certainly the most memorable. So some people may think that the bigger the romantic gesture the more evident that you’re loved by someone, but I’d argue the exact opposite. Knowing that your partner truly listens to you and remembers even the most discreet things shows true love and commitment, and I will always know how much he loves me because of that french vanilla instant coffee.


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