Extroverts who struggle to communicate

Many would say that an extrovert who can’t communicate properly is a contradiction. After all, extroverts are known for their heightened skills in verbal expression. So how could an extrovert struggle with the basic characteristic that makes them who they are? Extroverts may be able to converse and socialize without fear or anxiety, but that doesn’t mean they practice proper communication in harsh situations. Dramatic, tense situations evoke more than just words from extroverted individuals. As an outgoing woman, I can attest to the copious amount of emotion I feel on a daily basis. Whether an extrovert or introvert, everyone feels emotion, but the primary difference lies in how that emotion is expressed. My joyous and upsetting moments are both expressed in a similar fashion – LOUD! Despite emotions expressing our feelings, they sometimes disrupt our channel of communication with someone we love.


My communication channel was disrupted/thrown off the tracks last Friday night when I tried to have a heart-to-heart conversation with my boyfriend about our relationship. I thought it would go smoothly because of the notes I’d proactively written and reflected on, but I could not have been more wrong. See it doesn’t matter how prepared you think you are, because the one thing you can’t prepare for are the emotions. I remember getting about two solid sentences out before the waterworks started. After that, it was a snot-nosed, red-eyed, wet mess with incoherent, muffled speech. You would think that an extrovert would conquer a conversation like this, but just because we’re “talkers” doesn’t mean we’re “good talkers.” Luckily, my boyfriend, an introvert and a good listener, understands the kind of woman he’s dating. He sat there patiently and dealt with the disruption in the communication channel as I tried to pull myself together.

“Communication must be HOT. That’s honest, open and two-way.” – Dan Oswald, CEO of Business and Legal Resources

So Friday night was kind of an epic fail for communication, but that is why Saturday night was so wonderful. After having the day to rethink, revamp and reflect, we entered into some deep, beneficial conversations about each other and our overall relationship. My heart felt so full and tranquil afterwards. I realized that is takes two people to achieve a successful channel of communication, and it is possible to have that successful channel of communication between an extrovert and an introvert. If both parties are committed to listening and helping each other (if one totally falls apart halfway through) then there’s no reason why these conversations shouldn’t be considered a victory for the relationship.


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