Right door opened

When we travel down a dark tunnel long enough, it soon becomes difficult to imagine the light at the end. The same goes for rejection. The more rejection we face, the harder it becomes to picture what success will look like. Over the past six months, I’ve been slowly venturing through the job-hunting tunnel. Every door I approached took the form of an interview, I would use my key (skills and experiences) to unlock it, but the knob wouldn’t budge. The lack of a key (right qualifications) forced me to try another way. Pretty soon the tunnel transformed into an intricate maze – I feared I’d never find my way out.

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I trust in God’s plan, but after being stuck in this tunnel for months, I started to doubt and grew distant from God. I blamed him for not having the right key to access the right door. I doubted my skills and believed no company wanted me. Constant rejection pushed me further from picturing what my life would look like when I received a job offer. I begged God so many times for a new opportunity. I told him I was ready to start working, but he didn’t answer – and I was angry and impatient.

Then a week ago, I received a follow-up email from a local recruiter regarding my resume. She met with me and set up an interview with a telecommunications company. I didn’t get my hopes up. None of my keys had worked, so what was going to be different this time? Like any other interview, I prepped, dressed to impress and showed up on time. The recruiter I’d been working with told me to call after and provide my feedback. Before I had the chance to call her, my phone rang. After rambling on with my positive remarks, she said: “Well Amy, I’m glad to hear that because they’ve already contacted us and want to make you an offer.”

Dear Lord, thank you for the assurance that when one door of opportunity closes, you will open a bigger and better door for me. Teach me to trust in you more deeply and lean not on my own understanding. Amen

It’d been less than an hour since my interview ended – how could they have already made an offer? I expressed my disbelief and she replied, “They were looking to be wowed, and you wowed them.” I could feel the light’s warmth because I’d made it to the tunnel’s end. The key fit, the knob turned and the door opened.

That night after the excitement settled, I knelt down by my bed and opened in prayer. I thanked God for this incredible opportunity and apologized for doubting him. This position was everything I’d been looking for from the start: local company, great pay, collaborative team setting, creative department, writing-based position and so on. Every failed door hadn’t been a 100% fit – and even though I didn’t see it, God did. He knew what I deserved and followed through.

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Reexamine, reflect & resolve

Relationships are not rainbows. They are not covered in hot fudge and maraschino cherries basking in beautiful sunlight. Relationships are hard. They involve compromise, active listening, understanding, and forgiveness. Even though the first few months are simple, you’d be a fool to think it’ll always be that way. There will be speed bumps and misunderstandings that lead to rough patches. There will be times you want to shake your partner and tell them how stupid they’re being. There will be moments you’re fighting to win instead of fighting for the relationship, and there will be times you want to give up. These are the moments you need to reexamine, reflect and resolve.

“Relationships include: fights, jealousy, arguments, faith, tears, disagreements, but a real relationship fights through all that with love.” 

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Reexamine: Think about all the issues. All the reasons you’ve fought. Now dig deeper. What were you hoping to achieve during these fights? When tempers were raging, did you say something hurtful you didn’t mean to say? What was your motive? What did you want? Were you not being heard or were you not listening to your partner? When re-examining the issues, it’s important to cast your ego aside and look at things from a neutral perspective. Only then can you see the core of the problem.

Reflect: This is the time to bring God into the process. Pray for guidance, pray for him to open your heart to his wisdom, and pray for change. A change to learn how to fight fairly. A change to listen first and respond second. Finally, a chance to connect more deeply with your partner through God’s love. By casting aside your ego and praying for God to open your heart, you’re making room for these changes to occur.

Resolve: When you have time to go through the first two stages separately, the conversation you have during the resolve stage will be more fruitful and insightful. One issue at a time, the rough patch will be smoothed over with understanding, forgiveness, and love. Selfishness is brought into the light and destroyed with selflessness. You find a new appreciation for each other through God and plan a new way to communicate and handle future speed bumps. This time the fight will be fair with a new goal: maintaining the relationship’s equilibrium.